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(Slightly) Above Average Intelligence

Every so often life comes along and instead of slapping you in the face, it rewards you with a big ol’ hug and a goblet of wine.

In my life, I mostly get slapped in the face, a bad night in heels, less than eight hours of sleep, or not enough milk in the carton to adequately submerge my cinny toast crunchies.

I feel like, in general, I live a pretty average life.  I’m not extremely athletic, a really good singer, or incredibly smart. I don’t know how to appropriately portion my desserts, find pants that fit, or figure out for the life of me why there is a silent P in pterodactyl.

But today is a milestone.  Today life gave me a warm embrace, and a big fat glass of Pinot Noir – because I finally found out that I was good at something!

In my original post, I mentioned that I wasn’t particularly book smart.  While I maintain that notion, I do want to not completely throw myself under the bus here, because I do think I have some sort of redeeming value in this world. I have a boat load of random knowledge all up in my cranium; I’ve just never had an outlet to show off my cerebral strengths.

UNTIL NOW.

I present to you the game that will make you think you are smarter than you actually are: QuizUp.

At is core, it is a trivia game.  But it adds a competitive edge; because by logging in through Facebook you can challenge your friends. That’s right, you can single-handedly select the people you know are dumber than you and challenge them in a game of wits and fast fingers.

Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Hey self, this girl just told the internet world that she wasn’t smart, so I’m gonna challenge her and make life slap her in the face again.”

For that, I applaud you.  Because that means you actually read what I wrote above.  But I encourage you to think twice about challenging me, because I will whoop some internet bootay in the following categories:

Pop: Move over, Madonna, there’s a new Queen of Pop. AND IT’S ME.

Boy Bands:  I wore a boys flannel t-shirt and a visor three days a week in elementary school because of this photo.  Also, know all the ad-libs to every BSB and N*SYNC song.  Not a big deal, but kind of a big deal.

Shopping: Amazon Prime member, Forever 21 addict, Marshall’s and TJMaxx credit card holder. I can’t even contend with myself here.

Logos: When I give directions, I use landmarks as guides rather than street signs.  So naturally, I know a logo before I know the word.

Missing Letters: Fill in the blanks. N_T   IN    MY   H_U_E.

Name The TV Show: I have a sitcom dictionary all up in my noggin.

It’s true, I’ve finally felt what the other half feels.  To be able to be called on in class and know the answer.  To be able to answer a question correctly, rather than making it up. To be able to utilize all the time spent shopping online for retail recognition.

Game on, people.

PS: If you know that you’re like really good at these five categories, please move on and crush someone else’s dreams.  My dreams are fragile, little, sleepy, glass bubbles filled with ponies, chocolate, and brunch buffets. If you mess with those, you may as well commit a real life felony, because you’re robbing me of my life goals.

Happy Quizzing. And thanks to my main man, Ez for telling me “I can”, when all I ever said was, “I don’t want to.”

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Nice to meet ya.

Let’s break this thing down, shall we?  We’re Pete and Jobin and it’s nice to meet ya.

PETE

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I have never been told I have street smarts.

Actually, I’ve never been told I have book smarts either.

I do have an extensive knowledge of clouds, a knack for all things sarcasm, and an innate desire to eat bacon with every meal.

I drink vodka, wine, and complain about beer.  I hate my iPhone but refuse to switch to an android. I pretend to exercise because it’s cool. I’m addicted to HGTV, but I can’t do anything myself. I live in Boston and one time I ate ice cream within a five foot radius of Dustin Pedroia; he pretty much adopted me on the spot.

I’m twenty-four and eat chicken and rice five times a week.  My bedroom is a converted closet in a basement apartment with a gorgeous view of a Boston alley.  I look out my window and I see a dumpster and eight rats. It’s breathtaking.

With all that said, I’m just doing what every other twenty-something is doing: trying to find myself. So if you find me first, let me know.

____________

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That tall girl with short hair.

By far the most common way people describe me.

I’m a have-it-both-ways kind of girl.  I love a good pale ale and am obsessed with how to sneak chia seeds into more recipes (chia beer anyone?).  I legitimately enjoy eating kale and it would break my NY heart to ever consider giving up bagels.

And apparently pretty much everything worth knowing about me has to do with food.  Probably true.

I’m a public health nutrition nut and casual yogi.  I could spend an entire summer watching Rear Window and The Sound of Music (I have).  I am a certified pun master and have an odd affection for the Gin Blossoms.  I kill it at Scrabble, but am the worst Words With Friends procrastinator.  Seriously.  It’s always my move.

Not too long ago I ended a sixish year stint in DC and moved up to NY to go to grad school and come back home.  Literally.  I’m living with my parents.

So it’s back to school, and back to my high school bedroom, all in the name of reaching legitimate adulthood.  Growing up never looked so bizarre.  Join me, won’t you?