Let’s talk about something that girls absolutely love. Something that is a sort of coming of age activity in a young woman’s life. It’s something that involves thoughtful planning weeks in advance, consulting with friends for advice, all in preparation for this one moment.
The road trip.
The road trip is a chance for a girl to become a woman. To venture out into the great unknown, or let’s be honest, just to the next town over for some ice cream (girls will do anything to drive somewhere, alone, so they can sing, rap, and top-half dance all the way to retail therapy).
The build-up to the road trip is something that can only be described as sensational. You have to pack. You have to find out where your GPS cord is located, which is probably in the same place as that quarter you lost two weeks ago in the eternal crevice between the driver’s seat and the center console.
But more importantly than knowing where you’re going, or what the hell you’re going to wear when you get there, you need some high quality sing-alongs that will make you feel like Mariah Carey until your lungs collapse from exhaustion.
But therein lies the biggest problem. With great gifts comes great responsibility. The road trip is a gift, a chance to unwind and be stripped down to your true self. The only ones who truly know how bad you sing are your car, your iPod and the JockJams cd you refuse to take out of your glove compartment – it’s for special occasions, duh.
Until you get a shitty string of songs that come on your playlist and just punches all your good vibrations square in the face.
One minute, you’re jamming out to Aaron’s party, Come Get It, reliving your childhood and all the zuba pants and pleather wearing men of your dreams. You’re deeply rooted in a sequence of songs that are so nostalgic, you can almost taste the vodka shots you took out of a water bottle while sitting in a grocery store parking lot junior year of high school.
Then, you’re slapped with a big fat dose of playlist reality. There is inevitably, whether you want to admit it or not, songs on your playlist that you have no intention of ever listening to, they’re just on there cause you feel bad.
But once you realized you’ve been hit with one song bomb, the war has already begun. It’s a string of songs you are just so not in the mood for that they completely change the way you’ve thought about this road trip entirely.
You try to skip, but one song after another, it’s just plain bad and it doesn’t fit your mood. Why doesn’t my iPod know what I’m thinking? You start cursing at all the technology in your car. Your radio is now a douchebag, your phone is a piece of shit, you just don’t know where it all went wrong. You’re helpless.
And just like that, your day is completely ruined.